Trick or Treat! So I have to give away more chocolate?
What’s this Halloween thing all about? When I was a boy, quite a long time ago I know, I didn’t get sweets and chocolate at this time of year – I had to wait till Christmas or Easter. So how is it fair that I now get pestered by children dressed in ridiculous costumes demanding free treats? I didn’t get any, so why should they!
They want my treats!
If you’re anything like me, you’ll close the curtains on Tuesday evening and turn off all the lights in your home. I just ignore all the knocks at the door while I listen to the wireless – that’s a radio to you youngsters. So, my wheelie bin usually gets up-ended. That’s a small price to pay for a) not being confronted by swarms of children and b) having to give them treats.
As you know, I spend all day wrapping up chocolates and boxes of crisps to send out to you lot. Why on Earth would I want to give treats away when I’m at home? Simon and Michael say that it would make me a nicer person, that it’s better to give than receive – utter nonsense! They do seem less miserable than me, but I’m sure they’re just pretending to be happy.
Maybe in the after-life I will come back to haunt them. Now there’s a thought to make me happy.
Seeing as how they make me give away treats, you might as well know how to win them. Be sure to sign up to FreeTreats.co.uk and check each day, you could be our next winner. We have chocolate, coffee, cash and crisps all begrudgingly up for grabs.
Also, I’ve been told that Youtube is the place to be nowadays. Frankly, I prefer VHS video, but if you want to check us out on Youtube, you can I guess.